I enjoy Halloween a good deal. Mostly for the candy, but I also do enjoy dressing up as something frightening. And I don’t like to brag, but I do have a most terrifying costume.
This is shaping up to be quite a spooky post, so if you are not feeling very brave, you should probably quit reading now. If you are feeling brave, good for you! Read on with nerves of steel.
These last few years, I’ve found a costume that works for me—comfortable, easily adaptable in any weather, and very frightening to all. That’s right. I am going to be masquerading as a horrifying butterfly!
Now, perhaps you are asking yourself what makes the butterfly so horrifying. I suspect many of you share my innate dread of them, but if you don’t and you buy into the butterfly’s hype of being a beautiful, harmless creature, I’ll be happy to explain why this is erroneous.
After all, if you think about it—really think about it—butterflies are actually the most dreadful of all things, truly horrifying creatures.
First of all, in order to butterfly himself, the caterpillar must dissolve his own body using his own enzymes to turn himself into a big pile of goo inside the cocoon. Sort of like the Blob, if the Blob were only going to eat himself. Imagine if your own body were capable of dissolving itself into sludge. Cocooning first doesn’t make it any better. We all know what’s going on in there.
And as if that wasn’t bad enough, they reform themselves out of goo into a creature with paper-thin wings. They know what it is to be land dwellers, crawling along on their legs, bellies dragging the ground, but now, suddenly, miraculously, they are creatures of the sky, free to fly wherever they like.
You know, unless their wings get damaged. Which they easily can, especially if touched. Imagine living your life as a worm and suddenly gaining the power of flight, only to lose it again. Once again, horrifying.
And lastly, they flit around unpredictably, and more than one has tried to fly down my shirt, which is horrifying because, you know, fragile wings! You can’t touch them or bat them away or anything. All you can do is try to see them coming and quickly throw your hands over the collar of your shirt and hope they don’t try it.
I shudder just thinking of them. And come Halloween night, I shall be making everyone shudder at the very sight of me! Or at least frightening the children. Or possibly just myself, if there happen to be any mirrors around that catch me off guard.
And if you happen to be in the mood for something spooky, I will say that now is the perfect time to jump into my young adult zombie series, Bookland. You can start with Zoey’s adventure in Somewhat Alive, and then follow up with Ava’s journey in Somewhat Unreal. And if you haven’t read the prequel yet, Somewhat Before is currently available with Kindle Unlimited and offers a peek into Charlotte’s backstory. All very spooky, but a lot of fun!
Whatever you plan to do this Halloween, I hope your holiday is filled with loads of candy, the funnest of frights, and not a single butterfly.